Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Hooray Hooray the 8th of May!!!


(and a tardy A to Z review)

But FIRST!!!

You only need to dance if you like it...
It's (inter)National Outdoor Intercourse Day!!! I thought, in case there are any novices out there, that I would give you some helpful guidelines for your safety and pleasure.

I blogged about this two years ago, so I won't go into huge detail, though if you WANT huge detail, you can always read that post.

Mostly it is just encouragement to get it on with your honey (or alone... it's okay) OUTSIDE! Spring is HERE! Enjoy the perks! But some things to keep in mind...


Does anyone besides me think clothing is contraindicated?
DON'Ts

*  If you decide to go naked all day to make this activity easier, I don't advise sitting on vinyl.
*  Tweed is also miserable.
*  Likewise, probably don't wear rhinestone jewelry, except maybe earrings or a tiara. Those tennis bracelets can SCRATCH if you catch it!
*  If you plan to climb trees, DON'T undress BEFORE you get up there. Or maybe just prop a ladder up to climb up there. Bark is ROUGH.
*  Be too quiet if there are wildlife who might stumble upon and BITE you... or conversely, be too LOUD if there are wildlife who will be provoked... know your critters and plan appropriately.
*  Along the same lines, don't lay your blanket on a nest of bugs—no matter the kind, they ruin the mood.
*  Don't lay down at ALL if you are in poisonous snake territory. There are PLENTY of standing and leaning positions.
*  Expose your bare butt to the sun too long unless you have sun screen or a solid base tan.
*  Get arrested. Though RISKING getting arrested is exciting, so you will just have to play it by ear.

DO

*  Relax and enjoy it!
*  Collect a variety of experiences—sun is nice, so is rain, so are stars. Sand is nice. Grass is nice. Picnic tables are nice. Pools are nice. Make sure to get all you can!
*  BE PREPARED! Nothing worse than getting all hot and bothered and realizing you are missing: prop, toy, condom, smooth surface, privacy... you name it... I mean SURE you can make it work. And some people look to it as a challenge. But you want at least SOME of this stuff to just be enjoyable!
*  Spread the word! This is a holiday for all!!!


Okay... And now my belated A to Z Review

I love this event—I REALLY thank all the people who make it run SO smoothly. Lee and Alex, you guys ROCK—you are the heart of this little writing community that just keeps growing because of your efforts.

That said... I always start strong. I visit a lot of new blogs in the first week. I meet the spirit of the challenge... and then I feel like I spend the rest of the month just trying to keep up with people who comment or follow. April is a tough work month for me and so I can't steal the time I normally do from my work day to supplement. Besides that, I have had several big editing projects, two part of a deadline system, so my HOME time is also reduced.

This makes me feel guilty. I KNOW how this is meant to work, and I don't feel like I pull my weight... I tend to bring up the rear. I DID post all my blogs, but I really only had ONE week I was really good, and then another week TOTAL where I got to anything besides those reciprocations... Bad tart.

I must be spanked...

I DO have one suggestion for future years. I'd love to see a COUPLE lists, instead of one. I know the vast majority of us are writers, but there are sub-categories of us and it seems it would be most efficient to let us choose people with some common interests?

I mean, to pull out an example that I REALLY hope isn't rude: Gamers lose me. I've never played a playstation, Xbox or Wii game. Roleplaying... meh... I just am not their readership. Likewise, while I like blogs that INCLUDE crafting, in addition to writing/life (like I love Ellie's blog), blogs that are MOSTLY crafting aren't my thing. My art skills seized in kindergarten and I work full time and write full time. WHEN, pray tell, would I CRAFT? I KNOW these are really nice people, but if there are a thousand blogs to choose from, what I REALLY want are: writing/publishing process blogs, writing and LIFE blogs, funny blogs. Maybe even a note on genre, though a lot of my good friends write in really different genres, so the only reason there is targeting when there is only a chance to hit a subset of a huge number.

It could even just be as part of your name when we sign up:

Confessions of a Watery Tart: Writing/Silliness. That pretty much covers me.

So that would be my request, were I ruling the world...



16 comments:

Kyra Lennon said...

I feel the same way about A-Z during the first week. It's all enthusiasm, and commenting, and finding new blogs and then ... panic! Lol, it's hard to keep up with them all!

Old Kitty said...

Dearest Tart!! Please make the sun come out today so I may frolick in my birthday suit! Thank you! Take care
x

Christine Murray said...

This post seriously put me in a good mood. Which considering I got an hour's sleep last night is saying something :)

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

WOO HOOO! *running for the condom drawer and my pick-a-nick basket*

Creepy Query Girl said...

I agree. I usually clicked on names that had something to do with writing or creativity or just their names (figuring its their pen name/ writer platform). I didn't know there was a national day for outdoor fornication! Suddenly makes me wish I lived some place warmer:)

Tamara Narayan said...

I love your suggestion for the A to Z challenge. I would have to label myself: writer/mom/lunatic, but that would be redundant.

Cassie Mae said...

Maybe if I tell the hubs it's national get-it-on-in-the-park day, he'll finally make an exception!!!

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Well, you put lot into this one! I didn't know that there was a designated day for this type of activity. I have someone that I will need to tell about May 8th, lol.

Great input on your A-Z Challenge, Hart. How do you classify my blog, I wonder? Life?

Hugs,

Kathy M.

JCS said...

The weather turned out great for 8th of May activities!!! Too bad my sweetheart has poison ivy.
That would be another tip for your readers: avoid questionable plants. Poison ivy all over your body will cause all sorts of regrets...
All in all, great advice!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Right now dividing the list is split. (No pun intended.) Still not a fan just because I like the variety. (Although gaming yes, crafting no.)
As for sex outside - are you kidding? The bugs are in full force down here! I am NOT getting bit in areas normally not exposed to bugs.

Cold As Heaven said...

Great idea for a holiday. Enjoy >:)

Cold As Heaven

Jan Morrison said...

My dad said this every May FIRST 'hooray hooray it's the first of May - outdoor screwing starts today'. Just want to say in case people get confused - not just one day! STARTS! So lots of time to perfect it. You'd have to be mad to do it here after June though - too buggy. You could do it on a wind-swept beach only they are always full of teenagers. Or out in your canoe were you very practised. yes. ahem...

Tracy Makara said...

Wish I had read this post earlier in the day! Mosquitoes are out now...doesn't sound like much fun. I mean it may be fun at the moment but a body covered with welts for a week afterward not so much! And even though you did mention being prepared, a good dousing of Off is just unsexy. :)
You made a good point. Categories would be nice. I'm sure that there are gamers that are adept writers when it comes to posting...it's just the topic that I cannot read. Just isn't my thing.

Rebecca Bradley said...

I also started off well with the A to Z but then it all went to pot for me. I agree that a category list would be great for next year and I have seen this suggestion a couple of times. It would save time clicking on links that we're going to click straight off again. For everyone concerned. I'm still going to be doing it all again next year though!

Lisa said...

Oh my! What a fun way to find a blog! And however did I miss this particular day??

Congrats on finishing the challenge!

Lisa, Random Ramblings

EvalinaMaria said...

Congratulation on finishing the challenge. During the challenge I didn't visit as many blogs as I would like to but, cross my heart, I'm visiting every single one with the reflection post! I am so glad my journey brought me here.

Evalina, This and that...